Two Stearing Car

Crazy Eyes

Gujju SalesMan

Ek bar ek Shopping Mall ne ek naya gujarati salesman hire kiya. Sales badhne lagi-din dugni, raat chauguni.

Malik ne socha is ladke se mujhe milna hai. Malik Mall par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bechraha tha. Woh door khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. Customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-. Yeh kahkar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mehange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye. Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuchch eatables, wafer, biscuits, bhile jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid li. Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka.

Malik bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa . . aur tumane usey itna sara samaan bech diya, very good.Ladka bola, " Sir, woh aadmi to "Stayfree" napkin kharidane ayaa tha, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega 'Jaa Machli Pakad' "

Better to be a Lion in your own country than a Monkey elsewhere

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg of meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered. when one day a Dubai Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to Dubai zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.

The lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious; it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle ... but... you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!'

Moral of the Story .... * Better to be a Lion in your own country than a Monkey elsewhere * If you could be a lion in your country!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Ek Chutki code ki keemat

Ek Chutki code ki keemat tum kya jaano HR Babu?

Ishwar ka ashirwaad hota hai ek chutki code

Developer ke sar ka taj hota hai ek chutki code

Har bench resource ka khwaab hota hai ek chutki code

Bugs ka bhandaar hota hai ek chutki code

TL ki shikayat ka adhar hota hai ek chutki code

Release ke samay ninde udne ka karan hota hai ek chutki code

Nanhe se logic ke liye 1000 line ka hota hai ek chutki code

Back pain hone ka karan hota hai ek chutki code

Tension se takla kar deta hai ek chutki code

Per phir bhi hume salary dilata hai Yeh ek chutki code

Madam Tell Me - My Name.

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one week of study, a test was held.

The professor passed out a sheet of small paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. Our student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.

Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk.

"This is the worst test I have ever written."The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"The student pulled up his trousers to the knee showing his legs and said, "You tell me..."

AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA

ek Chor ek ghar me chori karne gaya,
Tijori par likha tha
" TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURAT NAHI,
452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAAL BUTTON DABAO,
TIJORI KHUL JAYEGI "

Jaise hi button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi.

Jate waqt chor Seth se bola
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"AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA"

Date of Grandma and Grandpa

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more".

They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't allow me to go.........

BPO - Call Center Jokes

TAKEN FROM 24/7 HELPDESK LOG...
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
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Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ...
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
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Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.
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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
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Helpdesk: May I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?

For Those Who Believe in TRUE LOVE

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her, am I right??
-It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show her off??
-It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want her because you know she's there??
-It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you with her because it's what everyone wants??
-It isn't love, it's LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand?
-It isn't love, its LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her?
-It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heart skip a beat??
-It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?
-It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of?
-It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
-It isn't love, it's CHARITY.

Does your heart ache and breaks when she's sad?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for her pain, even when she's strong?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her?
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept her faults because it's a part of who she is?
-Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret??
-Then it's LOVE.

Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??
-Then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple because it's...LOVE.

It is such addictive things that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well. Pass this to all your friends so they don't make the same mistake with their LOVE LIVES!!

Take care and God bless You

"The greatest weakness of humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive....!!! !"

CUTE LOVE STORY

A BOY HAD CANCER AND HE HAD ONE MONTH TO LIVE.
HE LIKED A GIRL WORKING IN A CD SHOP VERY MUCH. BUT HE DID NOTTELL HER ABOUT HIS LUV.

EVERYDAY HE WENT TO THE CD SHOP ANDBOUGHT A CD ONLY TO TALK TO HER.

AFTER A MONTH HE DIED. WHEN THE GIRL WENT HIS HOME AND ASKED ABOUT HIM, HIS MOM TOLD THAT HE DIED AND TOOK HER TO HIS ROOM
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SHE SAW ALL THE CD'S UNOPENED ...............

THE GIRL CRIED N CRIED N FINALLY DIED.
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YOU KNOW Y SHE CRIED?
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ÇOZ SHE HAD KEPT HER OWN LUV LETTERS INSIDE THE CD PACKS.
SHE ALSO LUVED HIM.............
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Moral of the Story:
if u love someone......say to him directly don't wait fordestiny to play the role.. if u pass this message to every one in ur list ur love will come true..

Don't Worry!!! Marry to any Girl.

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married. His father was happy for him.

He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to say this son but I have to.The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same. So he decides to go to his mother. 'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.

His mother smiling said to him, 'Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son !!'

GOD is Missing

Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "Boss we are in BIG trouble this time

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"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!”

How to Marry with Bill Gate's daughter?

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case...ok'


Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case...ok'


Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything.. But your
attitude should be +ve...

Attack of a DOG !!!

Attack of a DOG !!!



This is the best one……………





A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.
When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks the
dog.
A reporter was seeing all this. He said "That was great. I'll definitely
publish this in newspaper.

Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."

The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".

Reporter: "OK. Then the headline will be 'US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A
DOG'".

Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Pakistani
national".


Next day, the headline in the paper read....
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TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.